Friday, September 18, 2009
AVAST, ye scurvy dogs! Ready yerselves fer Talk Like a Pirate Day!
Ooooooh, t'morrow 'tis one of me favorite days: Talk Like a Pirate Day! Never heard of it, ye say? Why, 'tis one of the greatest holidays of all time -- here be a link to the official Web site! Way back in 1995, two swabs, John Baur (Ol' Chumbucket) and Mark Summers (Cap'n Slappy), established Talk Like a Pirate Day, to be held every September 19 -- and the holiday gets bigger every year, thanks in part to the enthusiastic support of humorist Dave Barry. 'Tis a wond'rous holiday indeed!
If you REALLY want to learn to talk like a pirate, I recommend studying the 1950 Disney film, Treasure Island, which showcases that patron saint of Talk Like a Pirate Day, actor Robert Newton in the role of Long John Silver!
(Hey, say whatever you want about Walt Disney and his company, but between Treasure Island and Pirates of the Caribbean, NO ONE has EVER done a better job of bringing pirates to the big screen. NO ONE.)
OR, if you'd rather not go through the hassle of tracking down the movie Treasure Island, there's always the online English-to-Pirate translator. Now, THIS is a fun toy. According to the translator, "Superman" in Pirate Speak is actually "Ahoy!erman" -->
Smartlier than a speedin' bullet. More powerful than a locomotive. Able t' leap tall buildin's in a sin'le bound!
Look! Up in t' sky!
'Tis a bird.
'Tis a plane.
Aye, 'tis Ahoy!erman - strange visitor from another planet who came t' Earth with powers and abilities far beyond those o' mortal swabs. Ahoy!erman - who can change t' course o' mighty rivers, bend steel with his bare hands, and who, disguised as Clark Kent, mild mannered reporter for a thunderin’ great metropolitan newspaper, fights t' never endin' battle for Truth, Justice and t' American Way!
Now, much as he'd probably like to participate in Talk Like a Pirate Day, Superman these days is just WAY too dignified for that sort of thing. However, he probably at least fantasizes about ordering the Justice League around in Pirate Speak.
Superman aside, there are superheroes who are VERY likely to celebrate Talk Like a Pirate Day.
The most likely candidate from the Marvel Comics side is pretty obvious: Kurt Wagner -- NIGHTCRAWLER! I think that pretty much goes without saying.
I'm sure Kurt is thrilled that Marvel is now owned by Disney, that bastion of great pirate entertainment.
From the DC Comics side, there are several likely candidates for celebrating Talk Like a Pirate Day, but my favorite candidate is Kyle Rayner of the Green Lantern Corps. Who else would conjure up pirate ships manned -- er, womaned -- by buxom, scantily-clad babes and order them into battle? "Fire at will, wench!"
Ooooh, yes, Talk Like a Pirate Day is DEFINITELY Kyle's type of holiday.
And you can bet Kyle tries to get some of the other Lanterns to celebrate with him ...
... with varying degrees of success, of course.
Now, that's just plain silly. Hal would NEVER say that.
Maybe Kilowog is a better participant ...?
Okay, maybe not.
How 'bout you, John?
Now THAT's getting into the spirit of things!
Errrr ... I think you're trying a bit too hard there, Arisia.
Things are going downhill fast.
Okay, never mind.