Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Blue Lanterns: The Dimmest Bulbs of All? (Green Lantern #39)

I'm sorry, I can't help it -- I just HAVE to comment on something in Green Lantern #39. PLEASE tell me I'm not the only person who's been laughing under my breath like a maniac (a la Flash:Rebirth) at this. SPOILERS, spoilers, spoilers...

After the reader is treated to an altercation involving Larfleeze the Orange Lantern (VERY intriguing, I must say), the scene switches to Hal who, along with his two Blue Lantern "buddies," Saint Walker and Warth, is flying back to the planet Odym to confront Ganthet and Sayd. Y'see, the blue ring that Walker stuck on Hal's finger last issue WON'T COME OFF, and Hal's pretty pissed about it -- especially because the blue ring keeps messing with him.

Well, not only does Hal tell the Blues to more or less shove their hope, he yells at them for FORGETTING to tell him that their power doesn't work without a Green Lantern around. "You could've let me know that before I agreed to go to Ysmault WITHOUT backup," he snarls at them.

The Blues sputter at this. But, but, but... they can still FLY. And, and, and... the rings DO protect them from SPACE. Yeah. Big flippin' hairy deal.

The Lanterns meet up with Ganthet and Sayd, and Hal tells Ganthet that he's grateful for everything Ganthet's done for him and all, but there's NO WAY he's leaving the Green Lantern Corps. Apparently (surprise, surprise!), that was NEVER the intention.

Ganthet replies, "As a GREEN LANTERN, Saint Walker, not as one of you [insert implied 'DUMBASS' here]. HIS will can power our ENTIRE corps."

Ohhhhhhhhhh ... NOW they get it! Oops.

Now Hal is REALLY pissed. He ain't no power battery! Not only that, Ganthet and Sayd tell him that they are "unable" to remove his blue ring.

Something to hope for? Yeah, RIGHT. Hal more or less tells the Blues AND THE HORSE YOU RODE IN ON and flies off to resume his search for Sinestro. The whole time, he's fuming about the whole "hope" thing. To Hal, hope is useless because it's too passive -- HE's Captain Action, after all. Besides, he thinks he doesn't have anything specific to hope for.

(Oh, Hal, Hal, HAL ...! You have such an EASY way out of this predicament! Just think about that one thing that you hope for every day of your life, and repeat these words: "I HOPE I get laid! I HOPE I get laid! I HOPE I get laid...!" I'm tellin' ya, that blue ring will be off in NO time.)

(At the very least, you can try HOPING you'll get that stupid ring off!)

While Hal is out in space arguing with BOTH of his rings, a command from the Guardians comes through, demanding that Hal get his ass back to Oa PRONTO.

Hal heads back to Oa like a good Green Lantern, and when he reaches the Guardians, they flip out. AHHHHHH! A blue ring!!! Get rid of it! Get rid of it! Get rid of it! Get rid of it! By golly, they're gonna get rid of it if they have to blast Hal's hide off the in the process! PUT HIM TO THE TORTURE!

So, while blasting Hal left and right and putting up with his HEY LEGGO STOPIT CUTITOUT screaming and yelling, the Guardians spout and sputter about the Red Lanterns and how the Alpha Lanterns are gonna take 'em out, and how Hal has to stay on Oa until they get that blue ring offa him, blah, blah, blah ...

(See, THIS is a big reason why Hal Jordan is one of my favorite super-heroes -- this kind of crapola ALWAYS happens to him. And yet he keeps bullheadedly forging ahead, only to end up getting into even MORE trouble. He's such a dumbass. I love him.)

Lucky for Hal, John Stewart shows up and pulls his bacon out of the fire. Salaak (with Stel) also shows up to report on something weird going on with some new Lanterns...

AND right at that moment, Larfleeze shows up and starts causing trouble.

Like I stated earlier, the Orange Lantern(s) is VERY intriguing. It'll be interesting to see how the Green Lanterns get out of this mess.

I think this issue also shows that, apparently, the only Lantern dimmer than a Green one is a Blue one. Cracks me up.

(And, of course, the only being stupider than a Green Lantern OR a Blue Lantern is a Guardian of the Universe!)

5 comments:

googum said...

This reminds me, that I really surprisingly want those Guardian action figures, since they're like the worst bosses ever. Seriously, whenever Hal deals with them directly, it's like an episode of Dilbert now.

Maybe you could tell me: I seem to recall Batman speaking with the Guardians in an old Brave and the Bold, and the Guardians recruited Flash for a mission in that B & B limited: do the Guardians treat other heroes better than the GL's, or is that my imagination?

Sky_of_Blue said...

Yeah, I have both of those Brave and Bold stories -- and YES the Guardians DID treat Batman and the Flash better than they treated Hal. They were very respectful toward the non-Lantern heroes, and very condescending toward Hal. (Of course, Hal was also very condescending toward the Guardians, so I guess fair's fair.)

SallyP said...

Oh Hal.

I can't help but think that Ganthet and Sayd are having a little bit of a joke at Hal's expense. But the "I HOPE I get laid!" idea is the best!

It will be interesting to see who gets the blue ring though.

Is it possible for the Guardians to GET any stupider?

Duskdog said...

I like how Hal was all pissed at the Blue Lanterns about the going to Ysmault with no backup thing. Wasn't he doing his best to outrun them on the way there? He certainly didn't stop to consult with them when he decided to zoom ahead. Besides, he's Hal. He would have gone alone, anyway.

It's okay, Blue Lanterns. I still love you even though you're dumb.

Sky_of_Blue said...

I'm really starting to think that this whole Blackest Night thing is just one huge cosmic joke being played on Hal. ;-)