Friday, November 21, 2008

NO MORE SEX for Green Lanterns!

Ooooooh, those stupid, stupid Guardians of the Universe! For anyone who hasn't yet viewed Green Lantern Corps #30, it ended on THIS delightful little note:

Okay, okay ... maybe she's REALLY saying the Green Lanterns just can't mess around with each other -- but it's still open to interpretation. 'Course, it also doesn't mean that this law will actually pass. So, we may not get to see how the Green Lanterns will react to this jolly bit of news. Still, it's not too hard to figure it out. A cycle of GRIEF will no doubt sweep through the Corps!

Psssst! Hey, ARISIA! Rumor has it that Green Lanterns won't be allowed to have sex anymore!


Hey, KILOWOG, JOHN -- the Guardians say you have to give up sex!


(Wait -- Does Kilowog even HAVE a sex life? Oh, well ...)

HAL, oh, HAL, have you heard? The Guardians are gonna pass a law saying Green Lanterns have to give up their sex lives!


HOLD ON ... I thought you'd be more upset than THAT, Hal. I mean, the Guardians are screwing you over again!

Okay, okay, just checking ...

Hey, GUY -- No more sex! The Guardians said so!

DEPRESSION! Or what passes for depression with Guy. Still, you gotta wonder if this isn't going to mean HUGE business for Warriors, and for Guy, what with all the Lanterns that are gonna need to drown their sorrows.

Moving on ...

The Guardians say, no more sex for you, KYLE!


Hey, waitaminute ... Please tell me Kyle isn't THAT stupid. Or maybe he just isn't all that upset about giving up his Lady-Killing Touch of Death. Who knows?

(P.S. -- This is all based on the classic Kübler-Ross Grief Cycle, in case anyone is wondering. Go look it up. :->)


TF said...


ace. I love how you break the fourth wall.

the last one made me guffaw resonantly.

googum said...

Suddenly, it struck me that it would be just hilarious if Kilowog had a better, bigger sex life than Hal. The Guardians give their proclamation, and Kilowog just puts his ring on the table.

SallyP said...

I DO hope that the Guardians enjoy patrolling the universe all by themselves.

Meanwhile, the ranks of the Star Sapphires just tripled. No...quintupled.

MetFanMac said...

AHAHAHAHA classic :D

Sea_of_Green said...

Yeah, the Guardians had better watch it, or NO ONE will want to be a Green Lantern. I mean, what's the point if you can't have fun on the job, right? ;-)

ComicsAllTooReal's Chris said...

Beautifully handled, Sea! Heehee! The fun and educative, you aced it!

Luke Owens said...

Y'know, there's a WORD for people (usually, but not always, female), but it generally isn't used outside a kennel....

Luke Owens said...

ACK! That SHOULD have read "...there's a WORD for people like Scar...". Sorry. Screwed up my first post....