Friday, April 25, 2008

Dancing with the Super-heroes!

I must admit, the New Yorker cartoon in my last post got me thinkin' about the TV show "Dancing with the Stars," and just what would happen if there was a super-hero equivalent. Just imagine ordinary folks ballroom dancing with super-heroes in friendly competition! Ah, but which super-heroes are up for the challenge? Dancing might seem like a silly pastime for the average super-hero, but many of them are already known to occasionally cut a rug or two.

For instance, many long-time Internet users might argue that Spider-Man is the undisputed champion of dancing super-heroes:

It helps that Spidey has his own theme song, too.

Longtime TV viewers, on the other hand, might argue that Batman is the super-hero dance king. As a rich kid, Bruce Wayne undoubtedly had to attend a Cotillion or two, not to mention a few debutante balls, so he probably has ballroom dancing down pat. And who can ever forget the Batusi?

Okay, so Spidey and Batman have an advantage in that there are already strong multimedia presentations showing they can strut their stuff. But what about the heroes whose dancing efforts haven't been caught on, er, quality film or video? Ooooh, have no fear -- they are NOT to be outdone.

First here's Superman. Superman HAS been filmed dancing, but nothing quite beats his answer to Batman's "Batusi."

Yes, it's the Krypton Crawl. Superman discos, too, folks. I'm not kidding.

Next up is Wonder Woman. Now, as Diana Prince, the Amazon princess is pretty good at the whole ballroom thing, even if Steve Trevor doesn't seem terribly thrilled by her efforts:

But do not -- repeat, DO NOT -- make Wonder Woman angry on the dance floor!

Now, consider the Flash. Believe it or not, ol' Twinkletoes is a rather good tap-dancer -- or at least Barry Allen was:

No news on his ballroom dancing skills, though.

The problem with some of these super-heroes, though, is that dancing with them would be downright frustrating -- not to mention potentially dangerous! Anyone with Superman as a dance partner would definitely be at risk of receiving a broken bone or two. The Flash might get carried away and dance so fast that he'd give his partner whiplash, amongst other problems. And Wonder Woman? Well, woe betide voters who try to vote Wonder Woman out of competition -- they might get their heads twisted off or something. (Actually, that might be an advantage in swinging the vote!)

Ah, but there IS one super-hero who has a very long history, both in uniform and in his civilian identity, of being a fabulous dance partner. He also has the, er, willpower to potentially carry off a splendid and decidedly non-dangerous (well, theoretically non-dangerous) competition. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Hal Jordan, a.k.a. Green Lantern:

Yessiree, Hal dances quite a bit -- and, of course, Carol Ferris is his most frequent dance partner:

Hal has been known to get into a bit of trouble while dancing. For example, there's been the occasional villianous attack:

Right, Carol. It's a new dance move. Just go on believing that. At any rate, no villianous attack has ever kept Hal from the dance floor for long.

Now, why is Hal Jordan so keen on dancing? Well, there are motives ...

... and there are motives.

And in his efforts to become a desirable dance partner for the ladies, Hal makes certain that he can do much more than just ballroom slow-dancing:

Hal's also willing to try anything new:

Hey, wait -- Is that Hal dancing "like an Egyptian"?

Yep, all this dance practice with the intention of getting his hands on a lovely lady has made Hal Jordan a shoo-in for Dancing with the Super-heroes:

All this might not sit well with Batman, though, who isn't exactly known to be a fan of Hal Jordan's. So, what do YOU think of all this, Batman?

Ah. Okay. Never mind.


Sleestak said...

Steve is dancing with Diana, who is wearing a low cut, backless gown and is still hung-up on Wondy? Glasses are a GREAT disguise!

SallyP said...

Is it just me, or is Steve Trevor a real creep? Slap him good, Diana!

Hal on the other hand, is...incredibly smoooooth. Interesting, considering how clumsy her NORMALLY is.

I don't think that Guy is much of a dancer. Ice mentions to Fire one time that he managed to break a couple of her toes when they went dancing together.

But Hal...! Most guys tend to be a bit self-concious on a dancefloor, but not our boy.

Sea_of_Green said...

Yes, Steve Trevor is an absolute moron. If there's any guy in the DCU more arrogant and dense than Hal Jordan, it's Steve Trevor. Actually, I keep meaning to do something with all these Golden Age Wonder Woman stories I have ...