Tuesday, November 13, 2007

This looks like a job for Superman!

(With a huge WINK to the inspirational Sally P.)

This is Oliver Queen, also known as the super-hero Green Arrow:

Oliver Queen really loves chili, and he loves to eat chili with his friends:

Yes, Oliver Queen loves chili, but he doesn't just eat it. He has been known to use it as a weapon:

He's also been known to use it in, er, courtship rituals:

Oliver Queen even likes making his own chili. However, his friends and acquaintances don't seem to like his chili very much. Dinah Lance doesn't like his chili:

Guy Gardner doesn't like his chili:

Even Ollie's best friend, Hal Jordan, doesn't like his chili:

The problem is, Oliver Queen's chili is too strong for most people to eat. However, Ollie keeps insisting that it's good chili, even though most people can't eat it, let alone taste it. In fairness to Ollie, though, just because a chili is very strong, it doesn't mean it's bad chili. But, how can we know for certain that Oliver Queen's chili really is good chili? How do we know Ollie isn't just deliberately feeding bad chili to other characters in the DC Universe because he gets some sort of sick, sadistic pleasure out of it? (Of course, that also brings into question the intelligence of the other characters, but that's another issue altogether.)

Here's one way to know: SUPERMAN needs to eat the chili. The fact that Oliver Queen's chili is very strong chili wouldn't matter to Superman. Superman has been known to eat chunks of LEAD, for crying out loud. Superman might actually be able to taste the chili and give his opinion on whether or not it's good chili. Of course, there are a couple of potential problems with having Superman critique Oliver Queen's chili:

1. Superman may have lousy taste in chili, in which case no one would be able to trust his opinion, anyway.

2. Even if he thought Ollie's chili was bad, Superman may not say so because Superman is generally a nice guy and probably wouldn't want to hurt Ollie's feelings.

Still, Superman seems up to the challenge:

Hooray for Superman!


SallyP said...


Oh Ollie...you and your goddam chili! I'm sure that Superman could probably choke it down, but he's so nice, he wouldn't want to hurt Ollie's feelings.

On the other hand...perhaps the League could use it as a secret weapon of some kind? I guarantee, that if they had fed Dr. Light some of that chili, then Identity Crisis would NEVER have happened!

I wonder if Batman has ever had any of Oliver's chili?

FoldedSoup said...

Green Arrow's chili vs. Matter-Eater Lad in a futuristic firey food slugfest!

Jeffy from Family Circus said...

Guy Gardner might actually think its good chili. Quite Strong, but he's not necessarily saying its bad. He MIGHT just be being nice, but he might also sadistically appreciate Ollie's chili for what it is. It's hard to tell.

Sea_of_Green said...

If Batman ever ate Ollie's chili, he'd probably force himself to remain stoic through the whole thing. Or, he'd drink or eat something beforehand that would reduce the chances of getting burned by Ollie's chili. The lousy cheater. :-)

Gawd, I totally forgot about Matter-Eater Lad!

I wouldn't be surprised if it turned out that Guy actually likes Ollie's chili these days. I can just see him trying to get Salaak to eat it. ;-)

jessi said...

LOL, this was a great post

Eyz said...

Ah! This was such an awesome post! XD

I do kinda remember Bats did try it at some occasion (and joke at the end of a story? some Robint/Batgirl issue?..)